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Gung Ho for Edgar
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PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2009 11:55 am 
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Aly: David's Appetizer
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:lol: :lol: :lol: Wonderful.

I love that one: "9. If you kill it...don't go lean over close to it to make good and sure it's dead. Chances are...it's NOT, you idiot!"

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Gung Ho for Edgar
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PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2009 12:38 pm 
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I love number 4 and five! Bahahah! Awesome job Python!

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Gung Ho for Edgar
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PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2009 6:24 pm 
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Those are awesome! I can just hear his voice repeating them over and over again.

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Gung Ho for Edgar
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PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2009 9:09 pm 
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Those are great. I love all the reasons for driving a stake through his heart.lol

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Gung Ho for Edgar
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 Post subject: Re: Gung Ho for Edgar
PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2009 11:52 pm 
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Somehow, I just got this crazy idea that Edgar would insist on having a survival manual somewhere...he'd shove it under any aspiring vampire hunter's nose. I'm sure he even has more! :lol:

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Gung Ho for Edgar
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PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2009 12:31 am 
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Aly: David's Appetizer
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:lol: So he's really sniffing old news print :lol: :lol:

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Gung Ho for Edgar
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 Post subject: Re: Gung Ho for Edgar
PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2009 9:35 am 
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Be nice and wierd for summer sales. He could have a BOGOF deal. Buy one Spiderman comic and get a Vampire Hunting manual for free!

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Gung Ho for Edgar
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 Post subject: Re: Gung Ho for Edgar
PostPosted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 12:50 am 
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Oh, lord, he so would!! It might even get to the point where he'd sneak the manuals into unsuspecting shopper's bags..
"Here, take this. It could save your life!'

The following was read by Edgar as a career day essay for his 10th grade English class. The essay assingnment was 'My Future Career Aspiration.'

Edgar clears his throat nervously, and whips off his bandana to mop the thin sheen of sweat from his forehead. Then he replaces it haphazardly and begins to read:

"Okay, so I take it that 'My Future Career Aspiration is a fancy title for 'What Do I Want To Be When I Grow Up. Well, the first thing that I, Edgar Frog, want to be when I grow up is..ALIVE. By ALIVE, I specifically mean ALIVE, and WARM...with A PULSE. I want to eat real food, breathe the air, and walk around during the day without being reduced to a pile of ash. I don't want to howl at the moon, sprout hair when the moon is full, and hunt for human prey. Basically, I want to be HUMAN!

How do I intend to accomplish this? I'm going to aspire to be a fighter for Truth, Justice and the American Way. I'm going to be better than Superman or Batman ever thought of being. Why? Because, for one, Superman and Batman aren't real. Screw the Career Counselor who says that there's no such jobs in the world as 'Vampire Slayer' and 'Werewolf Hunter'. We live in a town that is over run with spooks, bloodsuckers, wolfmen, and ghouls.They're everywhere! Open your damn eyes! It's time for the warm blooded humans to make a stand! It's a job that I'm cut out for, and it's my life's aspiration. So...laugh if you want. Go on! But when some hungry suck monkey is licking his chops over your neck, you won't be laughing. You'll be begging me to save your sorry ass! And if you laugh too hard, maybe I'll just let you squirm, while the night stalker slavers over you with his death breath; leaving his fang marks up and down your throat while he finds the perfect spot to sink the sharp tips right into your jugular and suck you dry!

So, to sum it all up, I have several aspirations. I want to be a vampire slayer...a werewolf hunter..a fighter for Truth, Justice and the American Way...and a warm blooded, living human being. One that is taken seriously. Yep, that's right! So stop laughing! I mean it! Okay, so fine, don't. But like I said, you won't be laughing when you're begging me to save your pathetic ass...or you're laying there dead with your neck torn open"...

"EDGAR!!"...

"Yes, Ms. Wimble..."

"That's quite enough."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Hand in your essay now."

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Gung Ho for Edgar
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 Post subject: Re: Gung Ho for Edgar
PostPosted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:45 am 
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"Well, the first thing that I, Edgar Frog, want to be when I grow up is..ALIVE. By ALIVE, I specifically mean ALIVE, and WARM...with A PULSE."

:shock:

Oh.

My.

HEAVENS.

That made me die laughing! He'd totally submit that!

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Gung Ho for Edgar
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 Post subject: Re: Gung Ho for Edgar
PostPosted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:02 pm 
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:lol: Oh dear Goddess, that was hilarious! Python, you rock. Seriously. :headbang:

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Gung Ho for Edgar
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 Post subject: Re: Gung Ho for Edgar
PostPosted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 10:32 pm 
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Edgar Frog's Vampire Slayer's Clam Chowder

It's not the potatoes, celery, cream, or onions that make great clam chowder, although you gotta have them. Sure. Well, the first ingredient is clams, of course. It wouldn't be clam chowder if you didn't have clams, right? But, when it comes to killing suck monkeys, you gotta have ALL the right ingredients. Otherwise, it won't be Truth, Justice and the American Way that will prevail. It will be the Reign of the Undead!

First, you gotta have TONS of garlic. I do mean TONS. A good vampire slayer will make sure that the chowder just reeks of garlic. Enough to make your eyes water. Why? If a suck monkey tries to make a snack out of you, his fangs will fall out with one gulp of your blood! But that's just the half of it!

Now, let's not use garlic powder. Garlic powder is for wussies. Let's use cloves of garlic. Not just little chopped pieces, either. Peel some of those cloves and toss 'em in whole! Get a good mix of chopped and whole cloves going for a nice effect. It'll make your chowder good and chunky. By the time you get done with your other ingredients, you'll need cream and water to thin it out some...

But not just any water. Hell no! Not distilled water, either. Or purified mountain spring water...
Nope! This is Vampire Slayer's Clam Chowder, and the goal is to slay as many shit sucking night stalkers as possible. So, get your Super Soakers, head to the local church, and fill up on all the secret sauce you can suck up in your squirt tank. Then, mix up the Holy H2O and the Leche into the pot and bring to a slow simmer. While it's cooking, think of how many flesh eaters you'll slay. Straighten out your dog tags, tie on your bandanna, and put on your war paint. Check your pack for sharpened stakes, mallets, crucifixes, extra cloves of garlic and more squirt pistols of holy water. A good vampire slayer is always prepared. Then, return to the pot and chant quietly as you stir the chowder:
"Guard me, protect me, give me strength today, as I preserve Truth, Justice and the American Way."
Continue this, while you visualize bloodsuckers falling down and writhing in their death throes at your feet.

This works as a defense in 3 ways.

#1 When you eat the chowder, it turns your blood into a boiling inferno, and any blood sucker that fiends for your blood will get a mouth full of something that tastes hotter to them than Jalapeno Chili on a red hot day in July. Guaranteed to make their fangs fall out, sear off their tongues, and blister their undead throats going down. If they survive one gulp of your blood, they won't be coming back of seconds!

#2 If given to the night stalker directly, your blood hasn't diluted it, and the poison is even more effective. If you make it right, it should be enough to dissolve their internal organs. Kind of like the way salt dissolves slugs. Just imagine it. Death to all bloodsuckers!

#3 If you are being menaced by a suck monkey before you even have a chance to eat your own weapon, have a quantity on hand to fling at the enemy. The holy water in it will burn...and the other ingredients will ensure that it sticks to them like glue. It won't simply run off like water. So the burns will be deeper and teach that suck monkey a lesson they won't soon forget...
Like..'I'm Not Dinner!'

And once again, Truth, Justice and the American Way prevails, even in the kitchen!

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Gung Ho for Edgar
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 Post subject: Re: Gung Ho for Edgar
PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:29 pm 
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ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!! you are a genius!!!!!

although this last thing brings to mind a quote..."garlic don't work boys!" oh well maybe that's just Paul.

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Gung Ho for Edgar
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 11:21 pm 
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poor Paulie. hahah he got a nice bath

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Gung Ho for Edgar
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 Post subject: Re: Gung Ho for Edgar
PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 3:32 am 
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OMG too funny! Python has Edgar down to a tee. Now I know everyone loves Alan, but Edgar is ok too they are a team. I really do feel that if the tribe had both brothers in it, it may have been a lot better movie, but this is hindsight.

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Gung Ho for Edgar
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 Post subject: Re: Gung Ho for Edgar
PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 4:23 am 
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Kelly Sheffield wrote:
I really do feel that if the tribe had both brothers in it, it may have been a lot better movie, but this is hindsight.


It would have been so much better. The only decent scenes in that movie were the ones with Edgar. My experience of watching it was 'blah blah boring yawn... ah! Edgar scene! Yawn, hmm, boring blah... Ooh, Edgar again.' So I figure the addition of Alan would have made it twice as good.

Actually, I might make a put the movie on my computer today and cut put all the none Edgar scenes, it'll probably be halfway to awesome then!


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Gung Ho for Edgar
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 6:04 pm 
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I can see an LB crossover where either Buffy, her little sister Dawn or her sister Slayer Faith Lehane struggle with the desire to pull out a cross on Edgar, Alan or both Frog brothers — thus making them realize how others might feel at being followed by vampire hunter brothers.. :idea:

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